What Happens to Your Social Media When You’re Gone? My Conversation on Consider This

A few weeks ago I got a call I wasn’t expecting. Cathy Wyatt, host of Consider This on Nebraska Public Media, asked if I’d sit down and talk about social media after death. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a weekly program produced by UNO Television that digs into topics facing our society right now, the kind of stuff that affects real people in real ways. Cathy has a gift for taking a heavy subject and making it approachable, and this episode was no exception.

I’ll be honest, this isn’t my usual territory. Most days you’ll find me talking about ad spend, content calendars, or why your Google Ads account needs a second look. But when Cathy explained the angle for this episode, I couldn’t say no. Season 29, Episode 31 brought together three different perspectives on what happens to our digital lives after we pass: me, talking social media and legacy accounts, Matthew Bennett, a funeral director who sees firsthand what families go through when they’re trying to piece together a loved one’s accounts, and Catherine Swiniarski, an elder law attorney who walked through the legal side of digital asset planning and estate administration.

Three very different professions, one shared truth. Nobody plans for this. And that’s exactly why we needed to talk about it.

You can watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/pVLs8gLU_xo

Why This Topic Matters More Than You’d Think

Here’s the thing most of us never stop to consider. Every platform you use, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google, TikTok, holds years of your photos, messages, memories, and connections. When someone passes away without a plan for those accounts, their family is left navigating a maze of privacy policies, login screens, and customer support forms, often while they’re grieving.

Matthew talked about this from the funeral home side. Families come to him overwhelmed, not just with funeral logistics but with questions like “How do I get into Mom’s Facebook?” or “Dad’s account keeps sending birthday reminders and it breaks my heart every time.” Catherine sees it from the legal angle. Without documentation or a plan built into an estate, digital assets can become a genuine headache, sometimes taking months to sort out, sometimes never getting fully resolved at all.

And me? I sit in the middle of it because managing accounts, understanding platform settings, and helping people build a plan for their online presence is quite literally what I do for a living. I just don’t usually apply it to what happens after we’re gone.

What Actually Happens to Your Accounts

Every platform handles this a little differently, and it’s worth knowing the basics before you’re the one trying to figure it out during a hard week.

Facebook lets you designate a legacy contact while you’re still living. That person can manage your memorialized profile, pin a tribute post, update your profile picture, and respond to friend requests. They cannot log in as you or read your private messages. You can also choose to have your account permanently deleted instead, if that’s what you’d prefer.

Instagram allows accounts to be memorialized with proof of death, but it doesn’t currently support a legacy contact the way Facebook does. Immediate family can request removal instead, with documentation.

Google (which covers Gmail, YouTube, Google Photos, and more) has something called the Inactive Account Manager. You set it up in advance, choose trusted contacts, and decide what happens after a period of inactivity, whether that’s sharing data with someone you trust or deleting the account entirely.

Apple has a Legacy Contact feature built into iCloud settings, giving someone access to your photos, files, and messages after your passing, without needing your full password.

TikTok and Snapchat are much more limited. Neither offers a legacy contact option. Family members can typically request an account be deactivated or deleted with proof of death, but there’s no way to manage the account beyond that.

Knowing these differences ahead of time means one less thing your family has to figure out during an already difficult time.

The Legal Piece: Why a Plan Matters

This is where Catherine’s expertise really shined during our conversation. A lot of people assume that whoever is named executor of their estate automatically has the authority and ability to manage their online accounts. That’s not always true. Many platforms restrict access to digital communications, including email and social media, unless the original user gave clear consent through a will, trust, or power of attorney.

Her advice was simple and something I want every one of you reading this to actually do. Name a digital executor. This can be the same person as your general estate executor or someone different, whoever you trust to handle your online presence with care. Then, document your accounts and your wishes for each one somewhere your executor can access after your passing. Not written directly into your will (that becomes public record during probate), but referenced in your estate plan and stored securely, like in a password manager with sharing permissions set up in advance.

This single step saves families from stress, confusion, and sometimes even legal hurdles down the road.

Setting Up Legacy Contacts: A Few Tips and Tricks

If you’ve never touched these settings before, here’s a simple starting point. This takes maybe fifteen minutes, and it’s fifteen minutes that genuinely matters.

Start with Facebook and Instagram. Go into your settings, find the section on memorialization or legacy contact, and choose someone you trust. Have a real conversation with them about it first. Don’t just tag them, tell them what you’re asking them to do and why.

Set up Google’s Inactive Account Manager. You can choose how long of an inactivity period triggers the process (anywhere from three to eighteen months), who gets notified, and what happens with your data. This one is especially important if your Gmail is the account tied to password resets for everything else in your life.

Add a Legacy Contact in Apple settings if you’re an iPhone user. This lives under Settings, then your name, then Password & Security.

Create a simple document, not a will, just a personal reference sheet listing your accounts and your preferences for each. Store it in a password manager you trust, and make sure your digital executor knows it exists and how to access it.

Talk to your family. This is the part people skip. A plan only works if the people responsible for carrying it out know it exists. Sit down with the person you’ve chosen and walk them through it, even if the conversation feels a little strange at first.

What I Learned From This Conversation

Sitting between Matthew and Catherine gave me a fuller picture of something I already understood professionally but hadn’t fully connected personally. Social media isn’t just a marketing tool or a place to post pictures of your kids. It’s become part of how we’re remembered. It’s part of our legacy in the truest sense of the word.

I think about the clients I work with every day, small business owners across Iowa and Nebraska who’ve built years of content, community, and connection on these platforms. What happens to that presence if something happens to them? Who steps in to manage a business page? Who has the login information? These are questions worth asking now, not later.

This is also a conversation worth having in your personal life, separate from your business. Your photos, your messages, the birthday posts from friends, the memories tagged in old albums, all of it matters to the people who love you. Giving them a clear path forward is one of the kindest things you can do.

A Gentle Nudge to Take Action

I know this isn’t the most fun topic to sit with. Most of us would rather talk about literally anything else. But here’s what I’ve learned from doing this work for over a decade. The people who plan ahead, even just a little, save their loved ones from so much unnecessary stress.

You don’t have to figure this out alone, and you don’t have to do it all today. Pick one platform. Set up one legacy contact. Have one conversation with your family. Small steps count.

And if you ever want help thinking through your digital presence, whether that’s your personal accounts or your business’s social media, I’m always here. Reach out anytime. This is exactly the kind of thing I love talking through with people, even when it’s a little outside my usual wheelhouse.

Thank you again to Cathy Wyatt for having me on Consider This, and to Matthew and Catherine for sharing their expertise alongside mine. If you haven’t watched the episode yet, I’d encourage you to check it out here: https://youtu.be/pVLs8gLU_xo

It’s a conversation worth having, even if it’s not one we love to start.